Check it out!

"I’ve been learning over and over that unless someone is willing to see the unwieldy plank in their own eye, it’s absolutely impossible to help them out of their destructive patterns and self-deception.You can yell and grieve and make a scene. You can spend hours in gentle counsel and eloquent exchange and loud weeping and tongue-biting patience. But unless that person wants to change, it’s not happening. No argument or mercy or fervency is enough. They’ll need to be pierced by their own convictions, or in the worst case, they must come to their own ruin and see the miles of hurt they’ve caused. Otherwise, you’re only reinforcing their pride and building their defenses and rationalizations. Often the only thing we can do is to pray and humble ourselves. To look at our own plank first. To expect the best, even if the other person is taking no strides. To keep the door open. To keep serving. And maybe it’s not about the other person anyway. If they don’t change, you will."— J.S. Park

Holly Stratton wrote a post on lifehurts.us .  She talked about how we protect our hearts and build walls because of how much we fear vulnerability.  I couldn't resist sharing it with all of you and I highly encourage you to click the link above and read her post!

Hope you are all enjoying your September!

The Past 7 Years...

How does time fly by so quickly?  How does it also seem to crawl as slow as a turtle at the same time?

As I look back at the last few years and all the twists and turns I have taken and look at where I am today... I never would have guessed where I've ended up!

For all of you out there who are wondering what the plans are that God has for you, I just want to say that they are better then you could ever imagine!  I know you probably hear that all the time, but I can honestly say that I have seen it play out in my life...

Wherever He has you right now, no matter the circumstance, no matter the training, no matter the situations you are in, all of it is being used to prepare you for the next step in life.  It may seem that you're stuck in a rut, or your dreams seem so unattainable or (if you are like me) you don't seem to have a specific goal in life to run towards right now, God is preparing you.


Graduating with one of my best friends!

When I graduated from high school in 2008, I seriously thought that I would take a gap year, work and hopefully in that year, figure out what I wanted to get a degree in at whichever college I felt God directing me towards....  I seriously had no idea what I wanted to get a degree in or how I was going to pay for that degree... but I was going to go, because, well that's what everyone expected of me.  That's what the norm was...

Our God's plans are SO FAR FROM WHAT WE WOULD CALL NORMAL THOUGH!! :) 

After 9 months of working at an alpaca farm, I became so sick that I could no longer work.  I was exhausted all the time and as soon as I would eat I would have to take a nap because my body was working so hard to just break down the small amount of food I was eating!
* (this was the first time I saw a reason why God had me stay home... if I had gone to college I would have most definitely needed to drop out.)
After lots of testing and going different natural routes we figured out that I needed to drastically change my diet.  Without going into a lot detail, suffice it to say, that within 3 weeks of changing my diet I was off all medication!  However, this diet was going to be with me for the rest of my life.  Yes, I can eat a little bit more "out of the box" than I used to.  But for the most part I have to eat only what God created and placed on earth for us to eat...no processing involved!


Siblings!

Due to the diet, this brought up more complications as far as going to college.  I still didn't know what I wanted to go for and now, how was I going to have time to cook all this food I needed while still trying to live a regular college lifestyle.  It looked like another year at home...so I decided to take some high school classes in apologetics, Christian worldviews and the Life of Christ.  Over the next 4 semesters I took 5 classes from Apologia Academy! 

God was definitely at work, I was soaking all these classes up like a sponge and absolutely loving what I was learning...so much so, that I asked my teacher to come up at do an apologetics conference at our church after the first year of taking classes! 

However, during that first year of classes, we watched the movie. "Return of the Daughters" and it made a huge impact in my life.  Our family truly felt that God was calling my sister and I to stay at home and find places to serve in our church and family.  THIS WAS NOT PART OF MY PLAN...but again, GOD'S PLANS ARE NOT OUR PLANS! :) 

Staying home provided me with ample opportunities to spend with my grandparents and other family


Playing with our cousins kids!

members.  For example, my cousin has 6 kids, so I was able to help her with homeschooling them.  I was able to be involved with our church youth group and just all around serve wherever I was needed... 

However, I was struggling with depression...I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy being a stay at home daughter, when everyone expected me to go to college.  I knew God wanted me to stay at home, but nobody else seemed to understand that!  Going to college was the norm...and if I wasn't going to go to college, why wasn't I getting a job that would support me enough so I could move out of my parents home??  I am a people pleaser and the thought that I couldn't live up to the expectations of the people who I loved so much hurt and caused me to be constantly second guessing myself.  My parents supported me and they were in 100% agreement with my decision but there were a lot people who felt I was wasting my life.  I began to agree with them and feel like my life had no purpose...sure I could help people out when they needed it, but I didn't have a goal I was working to accomplish, a purpose in life that I felt I needed. 

Picture Scavenger Hunt W/ the Youth Group!

This went on for three years, where I would be thrilled with the freedom I had to serve in ways I never would have if I had gone to college.  Thrilled that I could spend time with family and friends and build relationships with people I never would have had the opportunity to...and then the pendulum would swing in the other direction, I wasn't fulfilling the expectations of the people I was around.  What was my life purpose?  Why did God put me here?  Satan used my uncertainties to flood my mind with lies, I was worthless, stupid, unneeded, a failure...you get the picture.  It got to the point where I didn't have any dreams that I felt I could pursue because I was too scared I would fail or that I wouldn't be able to do.

Then God led us to a WIT Conference (Whatever It Takes).  This conference changed my life.  Yes, I had a hard time opening up, but God gave me a group of young ladies that were all at the same point in life as me.  Most of them had decided to stay home as well, but most of us had contemplated that unmentionable thing...suicide...because we had all been listening to Satan's lies.  We were worthless, we were unlovable, we would never be good for anything, etc.   We could never live up to the expectations of the people around us.  If there was one thing we all learned at that conference, it was this... Our validation is to come from Christ Alone!  His expectations of us are the only ones I should be concerned with.  Not trying to please my parents, grandparents, church family, aunts and & uncles, friends... Pleasing God alone.  If I do what God calls me to do than the rest of my life will fall into

WIT Conference

place.  It shouldn't matter to me if I'm not fulfilling the expectations of others, God is calling me to something different from everyone else and that is ok...  Yes, I may like to be in the background and just blend in with everyone else and not draw attention to the fact that I may be different, but God is calling me to something else and He has a purpose for doing that...  He created me PERIOD.  He saved me PERIOD.  He has a purpose for me PERIOD.  They had us write out a statement stating who we are in Christ.  Not who we thought we were, but who God had called us to be and what He called us.  We were to find Scripture to back up these "Being Purpose Statements".

This was the best thing I could have done.  I came back from that conference a changed person. Was life perfect from then on, no.  Did I still struggle over the next year, yes.  But there was improvement and I wasn't having suicidal thoughts.  I knew who I was in Christ, and I was seeking his validation NOT seeking validation from the people I was around.  Did I have a purpose, not necessarily, not by the worlds standards.  But I did have a purpose, to know my God and to make Him known to others.  To serve others in order to make Him smile, not anyone else.  To fulfill His expectations of me, not worry about the expectations that other people were placing on me.

We went back to the WIT conference the following year, and although I was no longer struggling with fulfilling other people's expectations of me, I was struggling with the expectations I was placing on myself and I was having a hard time communicating with my parents.  Truly opening up to them and talking about heart issues, simply because of lies I had started believing again. Lies about them and about myself.  I was struggling with assumptions.  Assuming they felt this way or were thinking certain things. I assumed they were disappointed or upset with me.  I assumed a lot and  I needed to be reminded of the truths found in God's Word.  I needed to be reminded to communicate rather than hold everything inside!

I say all this because after four years of questioning, doubting and struggling things started to change when I truly accepted who God was calling me to be... 



Sorting Food at the Church in NYC

That fall of 2012, my sister, Dad and I visited a church in NYC.  It is a wonderful church whose passion is to preach the gospel and serve the people.  They have a food pantry that serves several hundred people each week.  My main spiritual gift is service, and this church needed people who were willing to serve wherever and I absolutely loved it down there!  Following that first visit, we have tried to visit every 3-4 months since then.  The Pastor and his family became wonderful friends and the opportunities we have had to serve down there have been incredible.

That following spring (2013) my Grandfather passed away.  I was the closest to him out of all my grandparents...and it was really hard to see him go.  However, I saw what a blessing it had been that I had been home those last few years and had been able to spend time with him.  Six months later, my Nana passed away, again I was reminded how fortunate I was to have spent all that time with her.  4 months later my last Grandparent passed away, my Mom's mom.  I had spent a lot of time with Grammy throughout my childhood & teen years and to see her go was really hard.

As I look back at that year, I can see how God gave me so many opportunities to spend time with them that I never would have had I been away at college.

At this point God started bringing little ways here and there for me to bring in money and for that I was extremely thankful.  My health was doing better and it was neat to see how my change in diet had brought other sick people into my life who I was able to send to the same person who helped me with my diet.  One of those people happened to be a very close friend who I had grown up with and
she was battling cancer.  She wanted to go the natural route, but the medication just wasn't stopping the cancer fast enough or killing enough of it.  As I saw this cancer pulling the life out of her, I saw

Celebrating my girlfriends birthday after hearing her
cancer was in remission!

another reason why God had kept me at home and caused me to be sick... I had the opportunity to talk to this girlfriend about the diet and send her to the person that helped me and within a few months of changing her diet the Doctors were seeing marked improvement.  Wow, my sickness that I had seen as "evil" was in fact being used to help other people... Isn't there a verse about that? :} 

"But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive."  Genesis 50:20 (Joseph speaking to his brothers)

Btw...that girlfriend is now cancer free!!!  God is good!

Over those next few years, I had lots of opportunities to get involved with political campaigns, serve several times a year down at that church in NYC, build relationships with family members that had been strained and stretch myself in ways that made me depend on my God even more.  Those 6 years out of high school really helped me build a foundation for my adult life.  It made me question my

Serving At Samaritan's Purse
with Operation Christmas Chld

faith, which in turn strengthened it as I searched for answers.  I could help people that I never would have been able to, had I not gone through it myself.

Between 2012 & 2013 there were several ministry internships that were offered to me or ones that I was thinking of applying for and I would pray over them, get some counsel...you know, look for the Lord's direction and each time either my parents or myself wouldn't have a complete peace.  There was one internship in particular that I had complete peace with, I felt it would be a safe environment but yet would definitely stretch me, while being able to serve God in a unique way... However, my parents did not have peace with me taking the internship.  We prayed about it, I kept asking and they kept saying no.  I knew after a year that I needed to settle this.  As I prayed, the Lord brought to mind the verse,

"Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee."  Deuteronomy 5:16

as well as,

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.…"  Ephesians 6:2

So, I made the decision that day, that I would honor my parents.  If they didn't have a peace about it, then there was reason for that and I needed to trust the guidance that God had given them...  About a year after that decision, I discovered that the ministry had some core beliefs that were very different from my own... God used my parents to protect me from a situation that I would not have wanted to be committed to and then found out later on that it wasn't where I needed to be...

During the summer of 2012 I started working at a horse stable.  Working as a stable hand, but also riding and training whenever I had the opportunity.  God used this job to grow my confidence in so many ways and also provide some income...  By the end of 2014 however, we had to put down the


Competing at my first Dressage Competition

horse I was riding and the position I had been holding at the barn was not going to be available... I was again at a crossroads in life...  Where did God want me?  There wasn't a ministry internship I could go to at that time.  I was out of a job and to some degree a dream...I had hoped to do something with horses in my future.   So I started praying again... Trusting in God's timing...I had seen Him at work in other ways, I could trust Him to still be at work.

That December, our church secretary announced she and her husband were leaving for FL the following spring.  Our Pastor approached Dad to hint that if I was interested the job could be mine... Of course I was ecstatic, this job, was something that would be part time, so I could still serve in the ministries I was already serving in, it would bring a paycheck in and it would be another way of serving in the ministry.  I started training mid-December and was full time by January!  God can work quick and unexpectedly....

By February I was settling into the job, still learning a lot, but loving it, when I received an offer to become a part-time assistant firearms and defensive tactics instructor for Critical Defense Institute....Ok..a bit of a shocker!!  I had been attending the self-defense classes for 10 months at that point as well as taking their defensive pistol classes...

Let's take a step back...I grew up riding horses, then training alpacas, we were raised in the country,

Target Shooting

but I love the city and had looked at internships that were all located in large metropolis's (ie. NYC, Boston, Houston) you get the picture.  I had only started target shooting when I was around 21 just for fun and something to do with my Dad.  I was looking for a place to serve in the ministry, but some things had happened in the city that had caused me to want to take some self-defense classes so I had started taking them since May of 2014 and had been going twice a week since then. 

What did I say earlier?  GOD'S PLANS ARE NOT OUR PLANS!  The self-defense classes had awoken a side of me that absolutely thrived under the training!  I loved both the self-defense classes as well as the firearms training.  I truly felt alive and the more I learned, the more I wanted to share this training with other ladies.  Could I use it in a ministry setting, absolutely!  Could I use to earn money, absolutely!  Could God's plan for me to be a reflection of Him in the lives of so many people that have never even met a Christian be played out in this setting, absolutely!

So guess, where I am today?!  A secretary at our church and an Assistant Instructor at Critical Defense Institute!  I've been certified as an NRA Basic Pistol Instructor and I'm looking to hopefully someday be an actual Instructor at CDI!  Could I have foreseen where God has lead me, I would have laughed outright...and yet, I couldn't be happier!  I'm still living at home with my parents and my

Another Trip to NYC!

sister and the four of us are super close!

I write all of this to hopefully encourage all of you out there who might be battling any of the things I talked about.  Staying at home and meeting the expectations of others.  Getting sick and the many challenges that that brings.  Going through depression and suicidal thoughts.  Inability for find your purpose... Oh and did I mention that I'm still unmarried :]  yeah, another expectation that has come from both the outside world, our church family, family & friends...ourselves.  I want to wait and date the young man that is the one for me.  Not just date because it's what you do to get to know someone.  I can get to know someone serving in a ministry and know enough to decide if they are someone I want to spend the rest of my life with! :)  God has those of us that are still single, single because the plans he has for us will be best done as single people.  We can do the jobs he is calling us to perform better in the relationship status we are in now!  When and if he calls us to marriage, we can know that the jobs he will call us to will be better done as a married lady.  I am really ok, w/ not being in a relationship...yes, there are days I wonder...I am human and I know God has built within every young lady that desire to be married, therefore there are days that I look to the sky and ask God, what's up with the whole relationship thing?  But if my purpose is to know God and make Him known and I know that God is calling me to do certain things, then I can trust that my purpose on earth is being fulfilled without a marriage partner at this time.  And that is great! You and I don't have to worry about God forgetting about our relationship status...
Believe me, there are plenty of people out there praying for us about that ;}

Please, believe me when I say, GODS PLANS ARE BETTER!  My parents and sister know that there are days when I question everything I just wrote about, but deep down I know God has a plan and when you or I hit "waiting periods of life"...we need to see them as "training periods of life".  Where you and I are at right now, is where we can do the most damage to the enemy and have the most victory for our Savior!  God knows and is training us for the next step!



Best friends!

More Like Christ...

"The purpose of our suffering isn't to have a great testimony.  It isn't to point the finger of accusation at ourselves and say we brought on our calamity by our lack of faith.  No trials and struggles and distresses simply help us become more like Christ Jesus.  More selfless.  More giving.  More hope-filled.  More forgiving.  More abundant.
Life in the spirit, in the realm of spiritual warfare is not about a simple formula of you being good, God rewarding you w/ a happy life, and then telling everyone else to do the same.  It is a holy interaction with a-not-so-easy-to-understand God.  It's being near to Him even when it looks like He has forsaken you.  It's discipleship.  It's learning to have joy in pain.  That's the kind of life that stands out in a crazy, needy world."  - Mary E. Demuth, Beautiful Battle

A Glimpse Into My Journal...

Hello All!

I was writing in my prayer journal this morning and the Lord just impressed upon my heart to share what He has been teaching me.  I'm so thankful for Shannon and Abigail (fellow bloggers) and the way they have always been open with their readers and talked about the things they struggle with.  That is a gift to be able to do that and one that I have been trying to cultivate in my life.   So I'm just throwing a "thank you" out there to the two of them!  They have been an encouragement and blessing in my life because of their openness with their readers!

I can't say that I like to admit to failures in my life...yes I have a lot of them and will willingly admit to my physical failures, but the nitty gritty ones about how I view myself or my fears (about so many things) are not usually out there for people to see.  I only allow people so far and then (imagine whatever sound you want that brings forward images of a brick wall being built) a wall comes up.  Yeah, I don't like to be vulnerable, open and yet I know that is what God is calling me to do.  How can we minister to the hearts of other people and expect them to open up to us, if we never allow them to see within us?

I sat down and started thanking God for the ways he has worked in my life over the last year. I thanked Him for the many, uncountable times He has helped me through a situation (oh, if only I had asked for help from Him sooner, rather then later), opened my eyes to the spiritual battle that is swirling around us and my need to renounce Satan through Christ's power.  He has taught me so many things in the past 12 months that in many ways I am a very different person from who I was 1 year ago.

I thanked Him for the little things that were making me smile as I continued to write..things like warm, sunny rays that warmed me on the outside but that seemed to continue right through and touch my heart.  Things like my sister's dog, curling up against my legs as I got some extra sleep this morning...Things like genuine laughter with friends & family.... I thanked Him for mentors and the people in my life who truly want the best for me and have taught me so much...people who have made me feel safe enough to open up to them, people who I know love me for who I am - with all my faults - and accept me where I am at.  No judgment, because they know that we are all on a journey and none of us are perfect.

Can you tell I started getting deeper in my conversation as I went along? :)

I thanked Him for specific people like, Eric Ludy, Adrianne & John Shales, Paul & Jenny Speed (All people who I have impacted my life through their messages)...People who open up their hearts and lives to Christ, fully surrendered, OPEN about their sin, BROKEN over it and living in FREEDOM.  They trust Him with their future, past, dreams, failures, heartaches, joys...life...and then are vulnerable and humble enough to stand before other people and share their stories!

I thought of one of my instructors and how he can stand before our class and pretty much say "this is who I am, take me or leave me."  If someone doesn't like him, then it is their loss, he knows who and what he is and is comfortable with it - His confidence isn't shaken if someone doesn't like or approve of him.

It hit me...How much more should I, who know God as my Savior, Creator, Commander & Guide be unmovable in my beliefs and not care what others think of me, because I know who I am in Christ.  I know what the end goal of my life is.  I have the most powerful battle partner on my side and I know who will win the battle in the end.

So...

Why do I fear rejection, persecution, judgment & criticism?  Why do I hate the thought of being

unaccepted and different?  Because my focus is on the world and it's expectations and not on HIS!

God chose me before the foundations of the world were formed.   He loved me, accepted me, forgave me so much that He killed His Son that I might spend eternity with Him.  I need only to ask Him for help, strength, courage, you name it, and He is there, helping me conquer the lies and fears Satan is hurling at me.

I know that my confidence, courage, peace, joy, strength and validation should all come from HIM ALONE!   Not my abilities, not others words or treatment of me, but the knowledge of all the truths listed above should keep me in perfect peace.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee."  Isaiah 26:3

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid: for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation."  Isaiah 12:2

One of the biggest lessons I'm learning, is to being ok with who and how God has made me.  It is so easy to get caught up in what other Christians expect of me, what the world expects of me, even what my family expects of me and try to fulfill those expectations allowing those people to validate me in stead of my Heavenly Father...  I realize that my focus needs to wholly on Him, my reasons for doing something must be for Him and the way I do those things must be for Him.


These were just some of my thoughts this morning!  May God Bless All of You!

My Two Cents

 
Well it finally snowed here!!  Every time we have a snow storm I am blown away by how beautiful everything is when it stops snowing.  The frosted trees, the sparkly winter wonderland created by that brilliant sunshine that usually follows a snowstorm; that snap in the air that you breathe; that grateful feeling that wells up inside of you as you take a first glimpse out the window of God's breathtaking handiwork....  Those things are all wrapped up inside my brain right now as I sit in our loft working on….

January's "My Two Cents."

Watch

I’m in the mood for inspiring, heart-warming, self-sacrificing movies, so let’s see what is on the shelf…. 

I love studying military history, so when I came across this movie last year I was really excited!  It can be hard to find movies based on stories from that era, that aren’t filled with bad language or unnecessary scenes, but this one was clean and very well done!

Hidden in Silence

“Przemysl, Poland, WW11.  Germany emerges victorious over the Russians, and the city comes under Nazi control.  The Jewish are sent to the ghettos.  While some stand silent, Catholic teenager Stefania Podgorska chooses the role of a savior and sneaks 13 Jews into her attic.”

While most stories of this kind can be very graphic, I felt that they did a good job of portraying what happened and yet still keeping it a family film.  I have family members that can read about graphic things, but if they actually see it in person they are just overwhelmed…. They did not feel that way with this film, and yet it still adequately told the truth of what was happening during that time period.   I would highly recommend this!  Very well done…plus, anything with Kellie Martin is good J

 

Releasing The Bottle

I started this post about a month ago... things got busy though and I forgot to post it...however, I wanted to leave that beautiful picture of what New England starts to look like at the beginning of October...just a week or two before peak foliage :)



It is that beautiful time here again in New England!!  The fall foliage is starting to burst out in crimson reds and golden hues of yellow and orange! "sigh"  I totally understand why we have "leaf peepers" (tourists that come for drives just to see the fall foliage) in our state!!

On another note though...

I joined my friend a few days ago on a trip to Boston to complete an event on her "24 List".  She turned 24 a week ago and has made a list of 24 things she wants to do while she is 24.  This dear friend has fought cancer over the last two years and finally won.  Over the past few months I have seen her return back to the girl I remembered and knew was still in their somewhere :)  She wants to live life to the fullest and cherish every moment!  Therefore, the list of 24 things she wants to experience this year is a list of sentimental, fun and adventurous things to do or opportunities to learn and stretch her creativity!  This trip to Boston included writing a message, putting it into a glass bottle and sending it out into the unknown.  Hoping, praying, wishing that someday, someone will find it and it will impact their lives....

"Why Suffer?": A Friend's Post

As I was reading through a friends blog, I came across her most recent article.  I asked her if I could share part of it here with you and then put a link for all of you to follow to her blog...  It was very perceptive and made me sit back and think and ask myself some questions... What do I hide from? Avoid? Remove myself from? Am I willing to accept what God has allowed into my life in order that He might be glorified?   Am I willing to live out the verse, "in my weakness, he is made strong."?

"Why suffer? Many have been asking this question since Brittany Maynard asked herself this question and sparked national news and controversy over the last few weeks.
I was saddened to read of Brittany Maynard’s death this weekend. After a diagnosis of terminal brain cancer, Brittany decided to end her own life instead of suffering through the last stages of the cancer. She was only 29. People all over the country have applauded her bravery and her choice to “die with dignity.”
I’m not writing this to condemn Brittany. I’m human too. I’d much rather avoid suffering if it was in my power to do so. I would also be desperate for some measure of control. As much as the thought of dying scares me, I’d rather it be quick than drawn out and painful. I can understand some of Brittany’s reasons for her decision. But there is a much deeper issue beneath Brittany’s desire to end her suffering."

Click here to read the rest of her post...

Our focus...True Manhood or True Womanhood?

I have been working my way through the book "Fierce Women" by Kimberley Wagner.  It's been GREAT!  :)  When I originally bought it I thought it was for women, single or married.  As I got into it though, I realized that it was written more for the married women...however, I have been able to apply a lot of what I've learned despite the fact that I am single :)  Relationships need work no matter what form of relationship they are...

As I read through one of the chapters this morning, a couple paragraphs stood out to me that I wanted to share with you. 

“True manhood shows up in daily choices that require character qualities like courage, integrity, perseverance, and self-sacrifice.  It’s  being a man of honor – taking personal responsibility, fulfilling duties, demonstrating valor, and showing a willingness to sacrifice and lead for the greater good.

One Person At A Time..

"Sometimes working in a third world country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper.'  Today it often still feels that way.  I have learned to be okay with this feeling because I have learned that I will not change the world.  Jesus will do that.  I can, however, change the world for one person...and if one person sees the love of Christ in me, it is worth every minute." 1. 

That quote was from Katie Davis' book "Kisses from Katie".  A book that from the first read has landed among my most favorite books.  I am going through it again for the second time and this entry from her journal really hit home for me.

Tempted to fear?

      "Women are always tempted to be initiators.  We like to get things done.  We want to talk about situations and feelings, get it all out in the open, deal with it.  It appears to us that men often ignore and evade issues, sweep things under the rug, forget about them, get on with projects, business, pleasures, sports, eat a big steak, turn on the television, roll over, and go to sleep.  Women respond to this tendency by insisting on confrontation, communication, showdown.  If we can't dragoon our men into that, we nag, we plead, we get attention by tears, silence, or withholding warmth and intimacy.  We have a large bag of tricks.

     C.S. Lewis's vision of purgatory was a place where milk was always boiling over, crockery smashing and toast burning.  The lesson assigned to the men was to do something about it.  The lesson for the women was to do nothing.  That would be purgatory for most of us."1.


Found on Pinterest

     I read this quote a few days ago and it has been burned in my memory since then.  I know in my own life, most of what this quote says rang true.  I want to communicate when something is wrong.  I want to fix the situation.  I want to fix every one's problems...and when certain people whether they be male or female, seem to ignore or evade or even seem to forget, (get ready for this, since I'm sure I am the only one that does this)  I either give the silent treatment or get confrontational....yep, I am no saint.  This is an area that God has really been working on my heart lately. 

Yes, I believe it is good to communicate, but so often what is spurring me on?  Is it fear or rational thinking that causes me to lose my control and demand communication?  I think we all know that a LOT of the time it is fear.  Fear of something getting out of control.  Fear of what others will think.  Fear that it is not moving quick enough.  Fear that something will go wrong if it is not taken care of. 

A Quote and Testimony

The following quote and a testimony on Sunday, were laid on my heart this morning and I just wanted to share it with all of you. 

The Quote:
"Great things happen on the wheels of relationships.' And the oil that lubricates the wheels of relationships is love.  No power holds more potential for changing human relationships than the power of love."1.


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First off, I want to thank God for those words and how they convicted my heart!!  How many relationships do I want changed?  How many people do I want to see changed so that our relationship can be stronger and so that through our relationship we can be a brighter light to the world?

All I need to do is express His love...

Especially when people are unlovable...

Oh God, may you give us strength and courage to love no matter what!  Help us to show your love!

The Testimony:
On Sunday a woman in our church shared a testimony.  She had been reading in her devotions and in one of her devotionals the writer pointed out that most of us are willing to lay down our lives for those we love...but how many of us are willing to lay down our wills?

Ouch!

How many of us are willing to lay down our will, our desires, our thoughts and plans and show the love of Christ to every person we come in contact with...I will admit that this is a hard one for me...Some people are so much easier to show love to than others!!!  But how much more could the light of God shine through me if I would just surrender to HIS will and allow HIS love to flow through me!! 

How many of my relationships would blossom and grow if only I would love as Christ loves us...Unconditionally, laying down my selfish, prideful and stubborn will to be reflection of HIM. 


This is such a weak area for me!!  As I sat there reading and meditating over what I had read, the thoughts came..."Are you kidding, you can't lay down your will when people hurt you, you know how you react."  You are too weak to even try to love others when you pride has been hurt."




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I think you know the thoughts that Satan wants you think about that come flooding forward when your heart is convicted of something...but God in His love brought one of my favorite verses to mind.
"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

Yes!  I praised Him for bringing that to mind!  I can love others.  I can lay down my will.  I can kick my pride and selfishness out the door through Christ's strength!

Praise God!

Footnotes:
1. "God Speaks Your Love Language" by Gary Chapman pg. 186

How Precious Is His Blood?

Our Pastor went on vacation a few weeks ago and one of the men in our church stepped up and took his place on Sunday while Pastor was away.  He gave an allegory that really made me think about how precious the blood of Christ is, and I wanted to share it with you all.

I think we all know how special a wedding dress is to a bride. Whether you have been a bride or have been around one while she is looking for "the" dress, you know how important the dress is.  Once the dress is bought, it is placed in a very safe area until the day of the wedding - unless fittings are needed on the dress, in which case every safety precaution is used to ensure the safety of the dress :)  I think you get my point, the dress is IMPORTANT....

Imagine two days before the wedding the bride goes to look at her dress and finds a huge stain on the front of the dress.  What would be her number one priority at that point?  Finding a type of solution that would remove the stain from the dress right??  Once the solution is found, how valuable would that solution be to the bride?  Extremely, right?

Well, how valuable and precious are our souls?  The souls of the whole world?  Our hearts and souls have been blackened by the presence of sin in our lives and the penalty for that sin is death.  We are destined to spend eternity in hell without Christ because nothing we can do can ever cleanse us from the filth of sin...
However, the Son of God came, a perfect human being without sin, paid our debt, our penalty.  He spilled his precious blood in order to cover our sins and wash us white as snow.  His blood cleanses us.  How precious, how powerful is that?
He laid down his life and spilled his blood in order that we might now have a choice.  A choice to accept his free gift of salvation.  Salvation from eternity in hell and eternal separation from our Creator and God.  OR  To reject the gift so freely given and continue down the path we have been destined to follow.

Don't you think the precious blood of Christ that wipes away our filthy, dirty sin from our lives is incredibly valuable?  Even more valuable than a solution that will remove a stain from a bride's wedding dress?

So...it's already January 19, 2014...how does time fly by so fast?  How do the days slip by?  I'm reminded to ask myself, "Am I using my 86,400 seconds, 1,440 minutes, 24 hours each day, to the best of my ability...to the glory of God?"
 
"Time flies. It’s up to you to navigate." ~ Robert Orben.    How am I/you navigating this new year, month, day?  Are we "bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"?

We watched a video in Bible Study last night that made me think about how little I think about God through my day...It was a video talking about the symbolism and meanings found in the Israelite culture during Bible times.  The way they did things, when they did things, how they did things, etc.  Everything had a purpose it seemed.  Yes, they still had a life full of work, play, social time etc. but it seemed like they spent so much of their life reminding themselves of who God was, what He had done and promised....How often do I check in with God throughout my day?  I don't even have to go through a priest like the Israelites did!  He is always right beside me, waiting for me to "check in" with Him. 

My heart was/is convicted.  I need to "check in" and make sure my motives are glorifying to Him.  The job I'm working on honors Him.  The words I'm speaking and thoughts I'm thinking...would they make Him smile?  Do I praise Him throughout my day?  Do I look for His hand at work or do I just pass through my day...not noticing His hand providing, encouraging, helping...waiting for me?

I think it is so easy to focus on the negatives in life and forget about our real purpose in life...why is that?  Maybe because Satan is the Prince of this world and that is what he would like us to focus on...However, Christ is the KING of Everything and I think He wants me to see beyond the negatives, see the positives and keep our focus. See the blessings.  Yes, see the needs, but see them as blessings given to each of us as opportunities to serve our wonderful Savior!

Hebrews 12: 1-3

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

 Am I being a lighthouse every moment of every day or only sometimes?  Am I reflecting His love, forgiveness, grace, patience and humility all the time or only when I "remember"?  Am I running the race with purpose?

Thanking God...Even For 30 Degree Weather

      Yes, that is right, even 30 degree weather.   When you put into perspective that I spent 3 days in sub zero temperatures, then 30 degrees sounds (and feels) really nice :) 

  I tend to be one of those people that gets caught up in the here and now, in the details of the situation....I tend to lose my overview.  When I am working outside in -15 weather, my thoughts are focused on how quickly can I move to a southern state where it will NEVER hit that temp :)...However, living/working in those conditions helps me to appreciate things that I never would have been thankful for, had not my circumstance changed.  God in His wondrous grace opens my eyes to the blessings that he surrounds me with despite my sometimes inability to see them. 

Thank You God, for 30 degrees - a temperature that doesn't bite my nose off as soon as I step outside!!  Thank You God,  that I have warm clothes (and hand/body/feet warmers) to keep me from freezing!  Thank You God, for helping me see the beauty in the things that sometimes seem not so beautiful at first.

As I look back at 2013, I am struck with the realization of how much he taught me and allowed me to experience.  So many lessons that I didn't expect...(why do I even expect certain lessons - God likes to surprise us...maybe that was a lesson in flexibility..)  God allowed me to meet so many interesting people, experience new places and cultivate friendships both new and old that have become very special to my heart.

So as I think about the blessings found in 30 degree weather, I have to ask myself, how many other blessings did God have to show me by bringing me through a "hardship"?

Hmmm...maybe it was the "hardship" of losing a friendship that helped me see the blessings in other friendships.   Maybe it was the "hardship" of seeing other people having to go through a painful lesson and thanking God that I could learn through their experience rather then having to experience it myself.  Maybe it was having to hit rock bottom in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, that helped me realize that all that really mattered was pleasing Him and HIM ALONE...fulfilling His expectations of me - not the worlds, not the churches, not friends or even family - Only HIM!

Maybe???  God doesn't use "maybe's" He has a purpose in every word, every touch, every smile, every sunrise and every rain cloud...every 30 degree day. 

So...  Thank You God, for my 2013.  For the ups and the downs.  For the lessons and the blessings. 

Thank You for:

1. New friendships made
2. Old friendships rekindled
3. Forgiving me when I never did, will or do deserve
4. Allowing me to minister and serve in very special places...both old and new experiences - helping with VBS, volunteering at the Wilds of New England, working at Manor Gospel Fellowship in NYC on the building and with the food pantry,  helping with Operation Christmas Child at Samaritan's Purse in NC,  serving at church, helping with homeschooling my fantastic cousins and so much more!
5. The wonderful Bible Studies He has allowed me to participate in this year.
6. Giving me incredible opportunities to ride horses and learn so much at the barn!
7. Wonderful memories made this year


I hope you also have had a wonderful year filled with blessings and lessons!   May the New Year bring new lessons, mature our faith as believers and be filled with new, God lead, opportunities!

 

The "Little" Things 9/11 Post

As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11  because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her Alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike Because of an auto accident.



One of them Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take Time to change.

One's Car wouldn't start.

One couldn't Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man Who put on a new pair of shoes that  morning,

Took the various means to get to work  but before he got there, he developed

a blister on his foot.  He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.


Now when I am

Stuck in traffic , Miss an elevator, Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ... All the little things that annoy me.

I think to myself,

This is exactly where God wants me to be

At this very moment..
Next time your morning seems to be  Going wrong ,

You can't seem to find the car keys, You hit every traffic light,

Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that

God is at work watching over  you.

May God continue to bless you With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.

Hello Friends,

I know it has been a long time since my last post and I'm sorry for that.  However, sometimes life seems to fly by and this past year has been a roller coaster of spiritual, emotional, physical and mental rides :p  I can now say they have all been for a purpose (although I don't think I'm done with them :]).   I may not know why God has worked these different things in my life, but I can trust they are for His glory and that is why I am here.

The echo of my heart this morning is found in the following song.  I heard it for the first time this summer at The Wilds of New England and it is has stuck with me since then.  I know you can't here the music that goes with it, but the words are so beautiful in themselves that I think you will be blessed just by reading them :)

Settled At The Cross by Cliff Duren

 How I love to read the book You wrote for me
You loved the world so much You gave Your Son
Written there in crimson, You told me I'm forgiven
It is done, it is done

chorus
So if you never speak another word of blessing
And the silence leaves me with a sense of loss
I'll remember when my heart begins to question
Any doubt that You loved me
Was settled at the cross

I would be the first to admit I don't deserve
The kind of favor You have always shown
But You don't have to tell me
You proved how much You loved me
And I'll know, I'll still know

That If you never speak another word of blessing
And the silence leaves me with a sense of loss
I'll remember when my heart begins to question
Any doubt that you loved me
Was settled at the cross

Every drop of mercy
Every breath forgave
Every drop of blood
Testifies of grace!

If You never speak another word of blessing
And the silence leaves me with a sense of loss
I'll remember when my heart begins to question
Any doubt that you loved me
Was settled at the cross

Any doubt that you loved me
Was settled at the cross.



Truth....

I read these two quotes today, in the book "The Coming Revolution" by Dr. Richard G. Lee.

As soon as I read them I jumped up from my bed and ran to my computer! So without further ado, here they are :}

"A nation or culture can not endure for very long unless it is undergirded by common values such as valor, public spiritedness, respect for others and for the law; it cannot stand unless it is populated by people who will act on motives superior to their own immediate interests." ~ Charles Colson

"The American ideals of freedom and individual rights, charity, duty, honesty, and love for others are, above all, religious beliefs.  Even though America is less visibly a religious nation today than it was a century ago, it is the depth and strength of the foundations laid down by our Christian forebears that have allowed us to thrive in the twentieth and twenty-first centruries.  And even with all our struggles and doubts, we are still living on the dividends of that investment." ~ Dr. Richard G. Lee