Check it out!

"I’ve been learning over and over that unless someone is willing to see the unwieldy plank in their own eye, it’s absolutely impossible to help them out of their destructive patterns and self-deception.You can yell and grieve and make a scene. You can spend hours in gentle counsel and eloquent exchange and loud weeping and tongue-biting patience. But unless that person wants to change, it’s not happening. No argument or mercy or fervency is enough. They’ll need to be pierced by their own convictions, or in the worst case, they must come to their own ruin and see the miles of hurt they’ve caused. Otherwise, you’re only reinforcing their pride and building their defenses and rationalizations. Often the only thing we can do is to pray and humble ourselves. To look at our own plank first. To expect the best, even if the other person is taking no strides. To keep the door open. To keep serving. And maybe it’s not about the other person anyway. If they don’t change, you will."— J.S. Park

Holly Stratton wrote a post on lifehurts.us .  She talked about how we protect our hearts and build walls because of how much we fear vulnerability.  I couldn't resist sharing it with all of you and I highly encourage you to click the link above and read her post!

Hope you are all enjoying your September!

My Two Cents

Wow, the month of November has flown by!  I can't believe Thanksgiving will be here in just a couple days and Christmas just a few weeks later!!  2014 has been a huge growing year...I know we tend to say that about a lot of years in our life, but you know how certain ones are REALLY growing years and others are still growing years, but maybe not quite as life impacting??

I think the biggest thing that God has been showing me this year is to find my validation in Him alone.  To meet His expectations alone.  To live for His smile alone.  I will never be able to do what every one thinks I should be able to do or live in such a way that meets the expectations of everyone and that is ok...   I am here to live the life God wants me to live - no matter how countercultural it is :)

Ok, so onto the monthly "My Two Cents"...

Watch

 

I'm just going to come right out and admit that I have been addicted to the "When Calls the Heart" series that came out last spring on the Hallmark Channel...  I know, I know but sometimes I can become a hopeless romantic.  I have those moments of wanting to curl up on the couch and watch a movie that has nothing wrong with it, still has a good story line and has decent actors.  The series is not based off of Janette Oke's books (When Comes the Heart series) like the "Love Comes Softly" series was (which is probably why I can watch it without any pre-judgments).  I have to admit that I am not a big fan of the Love Comes Softly series past the first and second movie... I just loved the books too much and didn't really enjoy the actors and story lines... So I admit to being a bit apprehensive when "When Calls the Heart" came out, however I was captivated by the pilot and have been impatiently waiting for all the episodes to come out on DVD for the past few months!  Definitely check it out!

Book Review: It's (not that) Complicated

Hello Everyone!

I just finished reading Anna Sophia & Elizabeth Botkin's book "It's (not that) Complicated", and I couldn't resist doing a book review!  It was a huge eye opener as well as a good reminder in different areas...  However, this is my first book review so bare with me as I travel this new field of giving a book review :)

So, the main theme in the book is how to relate to guys in a healthy, sane and biblical way.  They approach this subject with humor and wit, while keeping the readers attention by going straight to Scripture for their answers to all those guy-girl relationship questions.


You can find this book on Amazon


The Botkin sisters are fantastic writers and keep things "down to earth".  They realize and understand that most of us struggle with at least some, if not all, of the questions and circumstances that they talk about in the book....and they have worked through many of these struggles/questions themselves which makes their book so much more relatable knowing the authors have experienced what you may have experienced at some point in your life.

They start out the book talking about why guy-girl relationships are so complicated in today's world because of the influences that swirl around us every day in the music, movies, books, lifestyles and cultural norms that surround us every day.  However, they aren't hesitant to point out that every century has had it's own set of problems to deal with and ours is no exception!  They bring you right to the root of the problem by page 10.

"However, our circumstances aren't the only thing making life messy for us.  The first question we need to sort out is the complicated-ness inside each of our hearts.  The battle between the spirit and he flesh.  The desire to surrender our will to God and the desire to be captain of our own ship.  The question of whether to consider others, or ourselves, more important.  The desire to do what is right and the desire to do what is wrong....We can't decide what our circumstances will be, but how we will respond to them is up to us."

Our focus...True Manhood or True Womanhood?

I have been working my way through the book "Fierce Women" by Kimberley Wagner.  It's been GREAT!  :)  When I originally bought it I thought it was for women, single or married.  As I got into it though, I realized that it was written more for the married women...however, I have been able to apply a lot of what I've learned despite the fact that I am single :)  Relationships need work no matter what form of relationship they are...

As I read through one of the chapters this morning, a couple paragraphs stood out to me that I wanted to share with you. 

“True manhood shows up in daily choices that require character qualities like courage, integrity, perseverance, and self-sacrifice.  It’s  being a man of honor – taking personal responsibility, fulfilling duties, demonstrating valor, and showing a willingness to sacrifice and lead for the greater good.

A Quote and Testimony

The following quote and a testimony on Sunday, were laid on my heart this morning and I just wanted to share it with all of you. 

The Quote:
"Great things happen on the wheels of relationships.' And the oil that lubricates the wheels of relationships is love.  No power holds more potential for changing human relationships than the power of love."1.


Found on Pinterest

First off, I want to thank God for those words and how they convicted my heart!!  How many relationships do I want changed?  How many people do I want to see changed so that our relationship can be stronger and so that through our relationship we can be a brighter light to the world?

All I need to do is express His love...

Especially when people are unlovable...

Oh God, may you give us strength and courage to love no matter what!  Help us to show your love!

The Testimony:
On Sunday a woman in our church shared a testimony.  She had been reading in her devotions and in one of her devotionals the writer pointed out that most of us are willing to lay down our lives for those we love...but how many of us are willing to lay down our wills?

Ouch!

How many of us are willing to lay down our will, our desires, our thoughts and plans and show the love of Christ to every person we come in contact with...I will admit that this is a hard one for me...Some people are so much easier to show love to than others!!!  But how much more could the light of God shine through me if I would just surrender to HIS will and allow HIS love to flow through me!! 

How many of my relationships would blossom and grow if only I would love as Christ loves us...Unconditionally, laying down my selfish, prideful and stubborn will to be reflection of HIM. 


This is such a weak area for me!!  As I sat there reading and meditating over what I had read, the thoughts came..."Are you kidding, you can't lay down your will when people hurt you, you know how you react."  You are too weak to even try to love others when you pride has been hurt."




Found on Pinterest

I think you know the thoughts that Satan wants you think about that come flooding forward when your heart is convicted of something...but God in His love brought one of my favorite verses to mind.
"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

Yes!  I praised Him for bringing that to mind!  I can love others.  I can lay down my will.  I can kick my pride and selfishness out the door through Christ's strength!

Praise God!

Footnotes:
1. "God Speaks Your Love Language" by Gary Chapman pg. 186

~ Of Waltzing and Marriage ~

I just read a post over at "Your Sacred Calling" and thought I would let you all know about it :]  It is just a short post titled "The Dance of Marriage."  It likens waltzing to marriage and I thought it was a great parallel to use. 


Love this waltzing picture from "The Young Victoria"
and thought it was appropriate for the post :]


Here is an excerpt:

"Just as an elegant waltz requires someone to skillfully lead the steps, so does the well-choreographed dance of marriage require a husband to lovingly lead his wife. He doesn’t stomp on her toes; instead, with strength and purpose, and an ear for the great Musician, he leads the dance."

Go check it out!  It will only take you a few moments as it is a really short post and I think you will like it :]

How do I know?



A few days ago I learned of a devastating circumstance that pulled a family we know apart.  The circumstances and reasons for this break up are not important, but the guilt, hurt, sorrow, pain, anger, worry, fear and so many other emotions are swirling around because of it. 



Bleeding heart flowers (found on google images)



As I was driving home the other day thinking of this family my heart went out to them.  I had, to my shame, judged in my heart, one of the daughters, as being very flippant, unfriendly, rude at times, and very focused on herself.  When I learned of what was happening to their family I was convicted of the thoughts I had had towards her.  I had no idea what she was going through and yet I had judged her. 

As I drove along the interstate and I watched the people drive past me, I thought about all the other times I had gotten mad at people, judged them, assumed things about them, because of what I was seeing in their behavior.  If someone swerved into my lane while driving on the highway, my usual response was anger that someone was either on the phone or not paying attention to their driving and were putting the lives of others in jeopardy.  However, as I thought about this family and what I had assumed about them, it made me think about those people who swerved into my lane and I how do I know if they weren't wiping away tears of sadness because they lost someone dear to them? 

How do I know that the lady in line at the store who cut in line in front of me isn't hurrying to finish her grocery shopping, so she can comfort someone who was just diagnosed with cancer?

How do I know that the woman who walked past me with no smile or word of greeting, but walked right past without so much as acknowleding my existence (even when I extended a smile and greeting to her), may be a Mom who has kids at home that have been sick for several days and she is so tired that she truly did not see me?

How do I know the boy who won't help with cleaning up and seems rebellious and focused on himself, isn't struggling with fear at being told he's "not doing it the right way" and is hurting inside because of lies he believes about himself and others. Like, "I'm worthless",  or "They are thinking (you fill in the blank) about me".

How do I know the girl who came across as flippant, unfriendly, and disrespectful isn't carrying a scarred heart, filled with pain and the only way she knows how to deal with it is to seem "fine" and "in control" even though inside she is reeling with confusion?

How do I know that the people walking past me everyday are fine, because they are dressed okay, act okay, appear okay, when inside they could be falling apart, crying in pain, struggling with issues that we cannot comprehend? 

There is so much pain around us and sometimes it is so easy to forget that since everyone seems either "okay" or "rebellious" or "unfriendly" all the time, we assume it is just the way they are.  But we never know what is going on on the inside of a person.  We never know what a kind word, a smile, a caring heart, a listening ear, a forgiving spirit or a patient response will help someone.

A single bleeding heart
flower
(found on google images.)

Jesus was the perfect example of forgivenss, love, friendliness, a non-judgemental spirit, but a compassionate and understanding heart filled with kindness and a desire to see the true person within.  Not the person they were trying to come across as.

I just wanted to share what was on my heart today.  I'm so thankful God loves me even though I mess up every single day.  As a "little Christ" my focus should be on turning what God gives to  me and sharing it with others, never caring if they "deserve" or "need" it.  Just doing it because God does it to me when I don't deserve it and He knows the needs of every person out there and I don't.

Praying you have a great weekend!

What is Romance?

I've been reading Leslie's book "The Lost Art of True Beauty" for my devotions lately and it has been such a blessing.  This morning I read several things that I wanted to share with you.  They go right along with the post I did in January regarding the relationship we can have with our Heavenly Father through prayer.


"Contrary to popular opinion, romance is not a relationship - although it can add fullness and spice and excitement to a connection between two people.  Romance is not hearts and flowers and violins, although an evening of hearts and flowers and strings can be soaringly romantic. Romance is instead an attitude, a set of habits, a way of encountering the world.  You are romantic when savoring experience is a priority for you, when you are willing to invest time and energy into making your experiences more vivid and memorable." ~ Thomas Kinkade

      "(Eric's) romantic qualities go far beyond the realm of human romance.  Eric loves life.  He has a passion for living, an excitement to be alive each day, a hunger to experience the fullness of all God has for him on this earth.  He savors the romance and adventure of living a Christ-scripted life.  He deliberately adds a zest to life wherever he goes, whatever his circumstances.  He excels at enjoying the romance of life probably better than anyone else I've ever met.  And in the 17 years I've known him, I've become somewhat of a hopeless incurable romantic too - caught up in the epic adventure of a God-centered life.  It's a most exciting way to live.
      Eric and I believe God doesn't merely intend for life on this earth  to be endured; rather, He intends for life on this earth to be savored - every experience can be purposeful, meaningful, and significant.  Every day is an opportunity to discover more of Him."  ~ Leslie Ludy

That romantic relationship that I wrote about in my previous post on prayer and the relationship it brings with Christ, can be lived out when we see the gifts God has given us and choose to savor experiences, get excited with the little things and love the life He has given us!

As you ride through your weekend, may He bless you with lots of little blessings and may He bless you with the eyes and heart to see them!

For His Glory!

Prayer: Our Link To An Incredible Relationship

I posted the following on "Altogether Seperate" today and wanted to share it here on my own personal blog as well :} 


I would like to invite you to open your imagination with me for a few minutes and allow me to paint a few strokes across your canvas.

It's early in the month of October.  You are looking at a brilliant colored sunrise just peeking over the edge of the Atlantic Ocean.  You know the type I mean; scarlet red, deep, rich orange, with hints of pink softening the edges.  The first rays of sunlight streaming through the clouds.

You can hear the soft "slap, slap, slap" of the waves as they ripple across the shoreline and almost smell that salty spray, while the colors from the sunset are reflected.

Sitting on the sand close together with their eyes captivated by the sunrise before them, you will find a young couple.  Both are unaware of the beauty that is radiating from them.  Joy is reflected in their eyes.  Peace and trust are found in they way they are sitting.  There is truly a sense of deep contentment in their presence.

Behind them are the rocky cliffs of the Maine shoreline followed by wave upon wave of the rich, pure colors found in the New England foliage.

The young man looks down at the woman he loves with a love she can not imagine.  He holds her hand with such gentleness as it rests between the pages of a book he wrote for her.  You see, the young man can not verbally speak to her, but he can and does write to her.  He can write of his love for her, his plans for their future, he can encourage her and give her the leadership and guidance she desires.  He fulfills every longing  she has had and is the one she has given her heart to.

The young woman looks at the sunrise and the waters reflecting its beauty and a tear comes to her eye.  What had she done to deserve such love.  Nothing. She looks into the eyes of her young man and reads within them the love, forgiveness and understanding she has sought for.

He points at the sunrise and sweeps his arm across the ocean and then behind them to the beauty that surrounds them.  She nods her head.  She understands.  He has made everything for her.  It was one more way He showed her how much he cared for her. 

She rests her head on his shoulder.  There was no place she would rather be.  The more time she spent with him the closer they became.  Whenever she had a question or needed help, he was there and had written something in their special book to encourage, direct and guide her.  No matter the time of day, no matter the situation, he helped her and she could rest in knowing he was in control of everything.

Yes, this was an allegory.  An allegory to what I believe God wants my relationship and your relationship  to be with Him.  Just as the girl knew that she was safest and happiest in his presence, so must I learn to spend more time with Him and seek His face.

If you were that young lady, wouldn't you want to spend all your time with Him.  Talking with Him about everything because your heart was held safely with Him.

The girl's relationship would not grow unless she spent the time.  How many relationships do you know that grow stronger and stronger everyday, when there is no communication, no thoughts towards the other person, no time spent cultivating the relationship?  I don't know of one.

God loves us more than we can imagine.  He can and will fulfill every desire that comes from Him.  However we won't experience that joy, peace and complete trust found in the presence of the young couple, with our Heavenly Prince, unless we spend the time with Him and cultivate that relationship.  Talk to Him.  He wants us to.

I've read many times how people have spent hours praying with God and I've thought to myself, "How do they do that?  How do they spend that much time praying and staying focused while finding that much to pray about?".....And then I read Sarah Mally's book (I talked about this book in my first post).  She gave an example of how to pray for an hour.  Breaking it up into 5 minute increments.  Her example was:

5 minutes ~ Worship

5 minutes ~ Thanksgiving

5 minutes ~ Confession

5 minutes ~ Pray Psalms to the Lord

5 minutes ~ Pray for your authorities

5 minutes ~ Pray for your missionaries

5 minutes ~ Pray for your unsaved family and friends

5 minutes ~ Other general requests

5 minutes ~ Ask for wisdom, grace, and humility is specific areas in which you know you need to change

5 minutes ~ Personal requests

5 minutes ~ Ask God for abundant blessing

5 minutes ~ Praise and Thanksgiving [1]

Obviously you can personalize the list, but you would be surprised how fast time goes! When I tried it the first time, I found I had to give more time to certain requests and the hour was gone.  It was a special time, and when I finished, it reminded me of how I feel after I've had a long talk with a friend that I haven't seen in ages. - An inner joy at having shared with each other things that have happened in our lives and knowing that the link between the two of us has grown stronger.
If that young man was your fiancee or husband we would make the time and plan ahead.  Just think how much God loves us and how important our relationship with Him is.  We need to plan it into our day and spend the time.  He is our dream Prince Charming if only we would only spend the time.

Footnotes: 1. Before You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Mally pg. 217



I just finished reading a post over at "Your Sacred Calling."  Stacy MacDonald's daughter Jessica wrote a post titled "So This Is Love" that touched an area that God has been working on lately. 

Ever since I won the book "Sacred Singleness" through the give away at the blog "Radiant Purity and True Beauty", I have been convicted daily about my desire to find fulfillment in other ways other than finding my fulfillment in Christ.  Jesus wants to be our all in all.  He wants to be our best friend and we will never be able to fill that void in our heart because it can only be filled by Jesus.  We will never find a friend, spouse, or family member that will never fail us.  Jesus is the only one that will ALWAYS listen to us, cry with us, hold us, hug us, comfort us, encourage us, helps us and strengthen us no matter what.

He is there all the time and is just waiting for us to look to Him for help.  His hand is outstretched waiting for us to take hold of it and find in Him all that we are looking for.

The post Jessica wrote talked about what God has been teaching her lately and it was exactly what He has been teaching me. 

"It’s overwhelming.  In fact, the air is thick with it. Everywhere I look, I am bombarded by illusions of “love.” It’s in the music, the movies, the marketing—it’s even in the food. I see young people who are attracted to one another merely for their looks, or for the ego boost they get from all the attention they receive (isn’t that what flirtation is all about?).
I see it in movies where the beautiful girl falls instantly in love with the Brad Pitt look-alike. The fact that he’s a “bad boy” who she needs to make “good” only adds power and romance to the story. Or what about the song where the man croons over the girl he saw for only a moment? Without any knowledge of her character, he knows instantly that she is the one for him! The fact that he doesn’t even know her name is supposed to be proof of some “magical spark” and convince us of his deep and profound love. Easy come, easy go.
Though stories like these might appeal to our sense of romance (or maybe an amused eye roll), we need to recognize that we are being wooed by a superficial, self-focused, unrealistic, and empty view of “love.” In fact, sometimes I feel like I’m being indoctrinated by an evil fake—by a false definition of love....." Read More

This post was such and encouragement to me and I pray it will be to you as well.