Book Review: It's (not that) Complicated

Hello Everyone!

I just finished reading Anna Sophia & Elizabeth Botkin's book "It's (not that) Complicated", and I couldn't resist doing a book review!  It was a huge eye opener as well as a good reminder in different areas...  However, this is my first book review so bare with me as I travel this new field of giving a book review :)

So, the main theme in the book is how to relate to guys in a healthy, sane and biblical way.  They approach this subject with humor and wit, while keeping the readers attention by going straight to Scripture for their answers to all those guy-girl relationship questions.


You can find this book on Amazon


The Botkin sisters are fantastic writers and keep things "down to earth".  They realize and understand that most of us struggle with at least some, if not all, of the questions and circumstances that they talk about in the book....and they have worked through many of these struggles/questions themselves which makes their book so much more relatable knowing the authors have experienced what you may have experienced at some point in your life.

They start out the book talking about why guy-girl relationships are so complicated in today's world because of the influences that swirl around us every day in the music, movies, books, lifestyles and cultural norms that surround us every day.  However, they aren't hesitant to point out that every century has had it's own set of problems to deal with and ours is no exception!  They bring you right to the root of the problem by page 10.

"However, our circumstances aren't the only thing making life messy for us.  The first question we need to sort out is the complicated-ness inside each of our hearts.  The battle between the spirit and he flesh.  The desire to surrender our will to God and the desire to be captain of our own ship.  The question of whether to consider others, or ourselves, more important.  The desire to do what is right and the desire to do what is wrong....We can't decide what our circumstances will be, but how we will respond to them is up to us."

"Love As I Loved"...

The words from Ron Hamilton's song, "Love As I Loved" have been ringing in my ears the past few days so I thought I would share the song with all of you :)

When the Lord was speaking to the crowd
A beggar came, who fell down
Before Christ and called out His Name
The disciples quickly came, and they turned the man away
Till they saw the Lord's compassion and they heard the Savior say-

One Person At A Time..

"Sometimes working in a third world country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper.'  Today it often still feels that way.  I have learned to be okay with this feeling because I have learned that I will not change the world.  Jesus will do that.  I can, however, change the world for one person...and if one person sees the love of Christ in me, it is worth every minute." 1. 

That quote was from Katie Davis' book "Kisses from Katie".  A book that from the first read has landed among my most favorite books.  I am going through it again for the second time and this entry from her journal really hit home for me.

A Quote and Testimony

The following quote and a testimony on Sunday, were laid on my heart this morning and I just wanted to share it with all of you. 

The Quote:
"Great things happen on the wheels of relationships.' And the oil that lubricates the wheels of relationships is love.  No power holds more potential for changing human relationships than the power of love."1.


Found on Pinterest

First off, I want to thank God for those words and how they convicted my heart!!  How many relationships do I want changed?  How many people do I want to see changed so that our relationship can be stronger and so that through our relationship we can be a brighter light to the world?

All I need to do is express His love...

Especially when people are unlovable...

Oh God, may you give us strength and courage to love no matter what!  Help us to show your love!

The Testimony:
On Sunday a woman in our church shared a testimony.  She had been reading in her devotions and in one of her devotionals the writer pointed out that most of us are willing to lay down our lives for those we love...but how many of us are willing to lay down our wills?

Ouch!

How many of us are willing to lay down our will, our desires, our thoughts and plans and show the love of Christ to every person we come in contact with...I will admit that this is a hard one for me...Some people are so much easier to show love to than others!!!  But how much more could the light of God shine through me if I would just surrender to HIS will and allow HIS love to flow through me!! 

How many of my relationships would blossom and grow if only I would love as Christ loves us...Unconditionally, laying down my selfish, prideful and stubborn will to be reflection of HIM. 


This is such a weak area for me!!  As I sat there reading and meditating over what I had read, the thoughts came..."Are you kidding, you can't lay down your will when people hurt you, you know how you react."  You are too weak to even try to love others when you pride has been hurt."




Found on Pinterest

I think you know the thoughts that Satan wants you think about that come flooding forward when your heart is convicted of something...but God in His love brought one of my favorite verses to mind.
"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

Yes!  I praised Him for bringing that to mind!  I can love others.  I can lay down my will.  I can kick my pride and selfishness out the door through Christ's strength!

Praise God!

Footnotes:
1. "God Speaks Your Love Language" by Gary Chapman pg. 186

Eric Ludy Video - Depraved Indifference

One of the ways God shows his love for the fatherless is through us... Are we living in such a way, that we are available and willing for Him to work through us at any time? 

What are your thoughts after watching that?

 



~ Of Waltzing and Marriage ~

I just read a post over at "Your Sacred Calling" and thought I would let you all know about it :]  It is just a short post titled "The Dance of Marriage."  It likens waltzing to marriage and I thought it was a great parallel to use. 


Love this waltzing picture from "The Young Victoria"
and thought it was appropriate for the post :]


Here is an excerpt:

"Just as an elegant waltz requires someone to skillfully lead the steps, so does the well-choreographed dance of marriage require a husband to lovingly lead his wife. He doesn’t stomp on her toes; instead, with strength and purpose, and an ear for the great Musician, he leads the dance."

Go check it out!  It will only take you a few moments as it is a really short post and I think you will like it :]

Fragile...Handle With Care

How do you commemorate a life well lived?  How do you express how much someone means to you?  How do you explain to others what you've learned by the example of someone else?



(Left Top) My sister, me & my brother (Bottom) Nana and Grampa
Taken 4 years ago at my Graduation.

 I don't really have the answer to any of those questions....but I'm going to try and trust the Lord to give me the words.

This year has been an extremely sad and yet happy year.  My grampa passed away last March and my nana went to be with him a little over a week ago.  As I wrote in my prayer journal after both of their deaths I was struck by how blessed I had been to have them as my grandparents.  I was filled with grief at the thought that I will never hear their special phrases again, or experience new things with them, or feel their arms wrap around me again.  But yet I can also smile amongst the tears and know that they came to know the Lord before they died.  That right now they are in heaven and I have the hope of one day seeing them in glory!!  There is such a peace that fills my heart in knowing that.  Knowing that they are with our Lord and Savior, the One who loves them more than I can imagine.  They are w/o pain and are rejoicing to be in heaven!

However, with these thoughts, I am also filled with the memories that they gave me.  Memories filled with love.  I only had them for 22 years and it doesn't seem like enough, yet I know that God knew it was enough.  Every time I walked into the door of their house I was welcomed with "Hello love" and a kiss from both of them.  When I would leave Nana would always say "You know you're welcome anytime, stop by anytime you're passing through."  and Grampa never failed to tell each of his grandaughters every time they left that "You're beautiful" and then he would walk us to the door. 

Life is fragile, handle with care.  The day after Nana went to be with the Lord, a man of 53 years of age went to be with the Lord.  This man had gone to school with my Dad and was what most people would say "the picture of health."  He was fit and worked out, he ate fairly well, and wasn't struggling with any diseases.  He just had a massive heart attack.  He had it at the fire station, so the EMT's were on him immediately and were able to revive him.  They brought him to the ER and were talking to him when he had another heart attack and was gone.  He had a divine appointment with the Lord.

Life is fragile, handle with care. We never know when the next person will be called home to the Lord....or maybe thier eternal destination is not so secure.  Love others....love them as Christ loves us.  With all our flaws and failures.  Forgive others...forgive them as Christ forgives us over and over and over again.  Share the Gospel with others....as the gospel was shared with you.  Never let the sun go down on your anger...it may be the last sunset for one of you.  I know this sound morbid, but it is so easy for us to get wrapped up in life and forget to smell the roses....hold that persons hand.....kiss that wrinkled cheek.....wipe that little tear.....tinkle that laughing child.....spend that extra 15 minutes talking......bake those favorite cookies for that special someone.....go through the old pictures and hear the stories.....LOVE...

God has a perfect plan in everything.  His timing is the best.  But only He knows the plans and the timing of them.  What will we do with the time He has given us?  What will we remember with that time?  Will that time be treasured?

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
That can still be rearranged

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

by Linda Ellis

How do I know?



A few days ago I learned of a devastating circumstance that pulled a family we know apart.  The circumstances and reasons for this break up are not important, but the guilt, hurt, sorrow, pain, anger, worry, fear and so many other emotions are swirling around because of it. 



Bleeding heart flowers (found on google images)



As I was driving home the other day thinking of this family my heart went out to them.  I had, to my shame, judged in my heart, one of the daughters, as being very flippant, unfriendly, rude at times, and very focused on herself.  When I learned of what was happening to their family I was convicted of the thoughts I had had towards her.  I had no idea what she was going through and yet I had judged her. 

As I drove along the interstate and I watched the people drive past me, I thought about all the other times I had gotten mad at people, judged them, assumed things about them, because of what I was seeing in their behavior.  If someone swerved into my lane while driving on the highway, my usual response was anger that someone was either on the phone or not paying attention to their driving and were putting the lives of others in jeopardy.  However, as I thought about this family and what I had assumed about them, it made me think about those people who swerved into my lane and I how do I know if they weren't wiping away tears of sadness because they lost someone dear to them? 

How do I know that the lady in line at the store who cut in line in front of me isn't hurrying to finish her grocery shopping, so she can comfort someone who was just diagnosed with cancer?

How do I know that the woman who walked past me with no smile or word of greeting, but walked right past without so much as acknowleding my existence (even when I extended a smile and greeting to her), may be a Mom who has kids at home that have been sick for several days and she is so tired that she truly did not see me?

How do I know the boy who won't help with cleaning up and seems rebellious and focused on himself, isn't struggling with fear at being told he's "not doing it the right way" and is hurting inside because of lies he believes about himself and others. Like, "I'm worthless",  or "They are thinking (you fill in the blank) about me".

How do I know the girl who came across as flippant, unfriendly, and disrespectful isn't carrying a scarred heart, filled with pain and the only way she knows how to deal with it is to seem "fine" and "in control" even though inside she is reeling with confusion?

How do I know that the people walking past me everyday are fine, because they are dressed okay, act okay, appear okay, when inside they could be falling apart, crying in pain, struggling with issues that we cannot comprehend? 

There is so much pain around us and sometimes it is so easy to forget that since everyone seems either "okay" or "rebellious" or "unfriendly" all the time, we assume it is just the way they are.  But we never know what is going on on the inside of a person.  We never know what a kind word, a smile, a caring heart, a listening ear, a forgiving spirit or a patient response will help someone.

A single bleeding heart
flower
(found on google images.)

Jesus was the perfect example of forgivenss, love, friendliness, a non-judgemental spirit, but a compassionate and understanding heart filled with kindness and a desire to see the true person within.  Not the person they were trying to come across as.

I just wanted to share what was on my heart today.  I'm so thankful God loves me even though I mess up every single day.  As a "little Christ" my focus should be on turning what God gives to  me and sharing it with others, never caring if they "deserve" or "need" it.  Just doing it because God does it to me when I don't deserve it and He knows the needs of every person out there and I don't.

Praying you have a great weekend!

Some Inspiration....

God's Amazing Love

His love is unquestionable,

Its power unconquerable,

Its meaning undeniable,

Its mystery unexplainable,

Its sacrifice incomparable,

Its price unimaginable,

Its absence unthinkable![1]

 

 

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"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." ~ John 3:16 (emphasis added)

Jesus ~

 the Light of the World, came so we could find our way to God.

 Jesus ~  

the Lamb of God, died upon the cross so we could receive the Salvation of God.

Jesus ~ 

the Bright and Morning Star, rose from the dead so we could live forever with God.[2]

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I am.....

G - God's

R - Redeemed

A - Accepted

C - Chosen

E - Expression of love.

"God chose you from the beginning." 2 Thessalonians 2:13

 



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Footnotes: 1. dayspring free printable

                  2. ibid